


Krasivaya

by This_kitty_has_claws



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mutant Reader, Reader-Insert, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 17:05:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 16
Words: 17,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11317848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/This_kitty_has_claws/pseuds/This_kitty_has_claws
Summary: You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years, you are deeply, completely in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister, what happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?





	1. Chapter 1

You wish he would see you, just once, but you were firmly in the friendzone. It was frustrating, and painful to know that you would never be more than just his friend. You were one of the guys. It didn't matter how feminine you dressed, or how much makeup you wore, he would never see you. 

“Mornin’, Krasivaya,” Bucky murmurs, slinging an arm around you as he escorts you to the kitchen for breakfast. “How’d ya sleep?” he inquires, the smile he graces you with melting your insides to a puddle of goo.  
“Good, B. You?” you reply.  
He smiles wickedly. “Didn’t get much sleep to be honest.”  
You glance at him worriedly. “Nightmares? Why didnt F.R.I.D.A.Y wake me?”  
He laughs in earnest. “Nah, baby girl, you’ll see.”  
Furrowing your brows, confused at his upbeat demeanour, you enter the kitchen. The entire Avengers team is deep in the throws of breakfast. It's loud and obnoxious, incoherent yelling and bickering morphing into a jovial atmosphere that has you smiling. You spot a flicker of blonde next to Steve, and Bucky disengages from you, beelining straight to the unfamiliar face.  
Confused, you follow only to freeze in place when Bucky wraps his arms around the blonde, nuzzling into her neck, murmuring sweet nothings that leaves an acidic taste in your mouth.

What fresh hell?  
“Melissa, this is (Y/N). She’s like my sister. (Y/N), this is my best girl Melissa.” He smiles at you, big and wide, and so happy.  
Pain blooms in your chest and you suddenly can’t breathe. Hands curling into fists at your sides, you chance a glance at Steve. His smile is jovial, but his eyes show the truth. He’s well aware how much this is hurting you, but he plays his part as Bucky’s best friend.. Eyes flickering to Nat, she dips her head in silent support. She’s always thought Bucky an idiot for not seeing what was right in front of him.  
Bracing yourself, you plaster on a fake smile. “Melissa, it's wonderful to meet you,” you greet, some how managing to make it actually sound like the truth, even as you bleed from the hole in your heart.  
She eyes you warily, before plastering an equally fake. “(Y/N), I’ve heard so much about you! I finally get to put a face to the name.”  
She beams while you try and swallow the bile rising in your throat. You falter, your mind coming up blank. You can't form words, can't think past Bucky looking so hopelessly in love with this golden goddess.  
Steve, thankfully comes to your rescue.  
“You ready for training, doll?”  
Bucky frowns. “She hasn't even eaten yet, punk. Can't you give her a five minutes?”  
Your heart breaks a little more at the concern he directs toward you.  
“Nah, Bucky. It’s fine. I’m not all that hungry, and Stevie and I have plans. Don’t need to throw up on him when he lands a punch to the middle.” You pat your belly. Training with Steve it wasn’t a matter of if he caught you, but when making the excuse for your lack of appetite one that had heads nodding all around the table. All except the most important one.  
Bucky's frown deepens. “We were supposed to hang out…” he trails off, the confused puppy eyes making you bite your lip to keep from caving. Then she speaks, making you hate her more.  
“Leave them alone, babe.” Melissa eyes him coldly. Bucky relents, confused by the direction his impromptu introduction to his girlfriend has taken.  
“I wanna join, Sestra,” Nat remarks. “With a little more practice, we can keep you from getting hit in the belly.”  
You nod, sending her a grateful smile for playing along, and gather what remains of your wits. Steve rises from his chair, grabbing you by the waist, and tucks you beneath his shoulder, trying his best to lend comfort.  
“We’ll meet ya in the gym, Nat. (Y/N) an I have things to discuss first,” Steve says, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.  
Bucky’s expression momentarily flickers at the sudden affection Steve is showering you with. His eyes harden with warning, a soft growl leaving his chest that he tries to cover with a cough.  
Ignoring him completely, you let yourself be steered toward your bedroom, numb to the going ons around you. This couldn't be happening. You knew you weren't Bucky’s type. You were by no means as beautiful as Melissa. You didn't have long legs and boobs for days.  
You were plain. A little quirky. You had an unhealthy addiction to cupcakes, meaning your hips had a little extra on them. You were soft in a few places where, sure you kind of wished you weren’t, but it had never really bothered you before.  
But seeing Melissa on Bucky’s arm, they fit. Two beautiful people. They belonged together. Still, couldn’t someone have warned you? Instead you’d been blindsided, hurting you that much more.  
A soft sob escapes your throat, and Steve picks up his pace, throwing open the door to your bedroom and ushering you inside. He slams the door shut and pulls you into his chest, stroking your hair as you breakdown. The anguish of being overlooked, again, comes out in waves. You’re shaking, clutching at Steve's shirt, while he makes shushing noises.  
“Why am I never good enough, Stevie? Why can’t he see me?” you ask, your tears wetting his too tight t-shirt.  
Steve doesn't answer, he doesn't know what to say. How to explain that you were the best kind of person, and there was no one better. He settles instead on trying his best to calm you down. Every bitter sob that escapes you drives a nail deeper into his heart. Tracing soothing circles onto your arms as you slowly come down from your hysteria, he asks, “Wanna skip training? Have a movie day with Nat and I?”  
You hiccup, and shake your head yes.  
He smiles brightly, grabbing his phone from his pocket, sending a quick text to Natasha. He leads you toward the bed, burritoing you gently into the blanket. Hooking up the laptop to the T.V, something you taught him because, let’s face it, Steve was electronically impuissant. He flicks to True Blood, your favorite show, and settles himself next to you. Picking up your cosily burritoed form and depositing you on his chest, his comforting presence briefly chases away the ache in your heart.  
A tentative knock on the door and a “Sestra” reveals Nat, laden with all sorts of junk food. Wicked smile on her face, she bounds over to you, and Steve, throwing a packet of Oreos at you. “Let the pig out begin!” she yells dramatically, making you giggle. Grabbing your hand, she squeezes briefly, Steve strokes your hair.  
For the briefest moment you almost believe that everything will be okay.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

You wait patiently at your favorite cafe for Bucky to show. It had become a tradition that every Sunday you and Bucky would meet for brunch and catch up on each others lives. Life could get hectic as an Avenger, often seeing you parted for weeks on end, so the ritual had been born out of necessity before becoming a simple pleasure. It was a bright spot in your week, a reason to get dolled up, and garnered you Bucky’s undivided attention for more than ten minutes at a time. Maybe it was kind of desperate, maybe it hurt as much as you loved it, but you wouldn’t trade that quiet time with Bucky for anything in the world. Especially now.  
Bucky and Melissa had been growing ever closer over the last week. Bucky had been paying less attention to the other people in his life, and, after a stern talking to by Steve, you were roped into broaching the subject with the metal armed soldier. Steve figured coming from you, it would carry more weight, and wouldn’t end up with Bucky growing defensive, or giving you the gears about being jealous that he had a girl when Steve didn’t. You wanted to kill Cap for making you do this, but… his distance was beginning to hurt team dynamics, so you’d reluctantly agreed.   
The only problem was he was late. 

You had been sitting in the cafe for a good forty five minutes, and were starting to get sympathetic looks from the other patrons. Taking out your phone, you send a text to Bucky, inquiring about his whereabouts. Another ten minutes went by and still no answer was forthcoming. Fidgeting with the edge of your coffee cup, you debate whether or not to give this up as a bad idea and go home. Bucky obviously had better things to do.   
You should have known, or at least asked him if you were still on for the date. Biting back the tears forming in your eyes, you flag down the waitress and ask for the bill. The pity written on her face has you feeling even worse. Throwing down some money, you hastily exit the cafe.   
Ducking into an alley, you sink down onto the garbage strewn ground, finally letting the traitorous tears fall.  
He’d stood you up. The realization is devastating, drawing up all the old hurts and fears you’ve struggled with since meeting one James Buchanan Barnes.

Anger replaces heartbreak. Tears dry up. The sharp sting of rejection fresh in your psyche. You weren't going to give him the satisfaction of seeing you broken. It wasn't his fault you were this... this lump of uselessness.   
He was too good for you. Too pure. Too handsome. He belonged with someone like Melissa. It was time you accepted it.   
Picking yourself off the floor, you reach inside your handbag, pull out a compact and try desperately to fix your face. You square your shoulders, and set out to make the long trek home, resolved to keep your distance from Sergeant Barnes.   
The walk does you a little good, helping you put things in perspective. It clears the stuffiness of tears from your head at least. The bustle of the city moving around you, carrying on as if your world hadn’t just crashed to ashes at your feet, helps soothe some of your anxious soul. Life moved on, and so would you. Or, so you tried to convince yourself, but the lies you tell yourself are always the hardest to believe.

Exiting the elevator, you stride into the common room only to hear the giggling of Melissa and Bucky from the couch. He’s crouched above her, tickling her while she squeals in delight.   
It makes you feel physically sick to watch them together. Lips curling in disgust, you stealthily try and make a hasty exit, but super soldier hearing foils your plan.   
“Krasivaya? Where have you been?” Bucky pipes up from the couch, a wide smile plastered on his face as Melissa breathes heavily underneath him.   
You stare at him for a full ten seconds before you realize he truly didn't remember he was supposed to meet you. “I was at the Cafe,” you reply, voice as neutral as you can make it.   
The smile slips off his face as realization dawns on him. He scrambles upright, leaping over the back of the couch, ignoring the indignant squeak coming from Melissa. “Shit, (Y/N)! I completely spaced!” Regret is written clearly on his face.   
You shrug him off. “It’s not a big deal. Don't worry about it.”   
He scoffs, “Of course it is! I bailed on ya!”   
He reaches to grab your hand, a gesture done so often in the past it's become second nature. You flinch away from him, taking a step back, you can’t handle having him touch you. The surprise in his face quickly morphs into one of hurt.   
“Krasivaya..” he pleads.   
You shake your head, wrapping your arms around yourself, willing the action to keep you together long enough to make a hasty exit to find Steve or Nat or maybe just fucking run as far away as you can from this shit storm.   
Bucky takes a deep breath, putting that charming lopsided grin on his face. The one that he knows will get you to do anything. Two weeks ago it would have worked. “Why don’ we hang out a lil’ later? Mel has to go home soon anyway, so I'll be all yours.”   
Anger makes an unwelcome appearance again. Now that his precious Mel was leaving he wanted to spend time with you? Fuck no! Squaring your shoulders, you raise yourself to your full height, which wasn't all that impressive if you were being honest.   
You look him straight in the eye. “No thank you, Sergeant Barnes. I have a date with a super soldier that actually wants to spend time with me.”   
He looks stunned for a minute before he replies with a, “Sergeant?” confusion etched in his face. “(Y/N), I don't understand why you’re acting this way.” 

A small, despairing laugh spills from your lips. “I’m not acting any way. I’ve just come to some hard realizations is all. Some painful truths.” Turning to go, you pause, hand resting on the doorframe. “You did stand me up, though. Left me for forty-five minutes to become that girl that everyone whispers and stares at, pitying because she was too stupid to realize the man she was waiting on wasn’t coming.”   
The pain and self-loathing you’re fighting manifests in a wave of power that causes the lights to flicker. It sends Melissa scrambling into the corner of the couch, her fear evident. Pleasure in the reaction streaks through you followed swiftly by guilt.   
Exhaling slowly, you crack a false smile. “But don’t worry about it, sarge. It’s forgiven. You and Mel have a nice evening.” With a nod, you stride down the hall, ignoring Bucky when he calls your name.  
Stupid, stupid delusional girl. What did you think was going to happen? That he would just miraculously fall for you? You were kidding yourself. Willing yourself to believe that you were worthy of a man like James Barnes. It just made you hate yourself more.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

You had spent two days in your room refusing to speak to anybody but Nat. You poured out all your insecurities, all your pain to the redhead. Her eyes grew colder with each word you spoke. She brought much needed comfort to your fragile heart, soothing some of the pain in your chest. 

It was time to venture back into the world of the Avengers. You were starved for company. And cupcakes.   
Donning black workout gear which hugged your curves in all the right places, you leave your room, following the angry yelling coming from the kitchen. Sighing inwardly, you can distinctly hear the irate voice of Natasha hurling insults at whom you assume can only be Bucky. Judging from the slew of Russian leaving her mouth, and the angry tirade coming back, he’s giving as good as he got. 

You cautiously make your way into the kitchen. Nat and Bucky are screaming at each other from across the table, chests heaving in anger. The only word you can make out over the raised voices is your name. Nat had obviously had enough of your moping, and had taken it upon herself to defend you   
“Natalia! Dostatchno!” you yell.   
Bucky’s eyes never leave hers. He’s breathing heavily, fists clenched at is side. Natalia’s lips are curled into a feral snarl, and you know if you don't intervene the punches will start flying. 

You move toward Bucky as fast as you can, wedging yourself between him and the table. Grabbing his hand draws his attention. “Dostatchno, James,” you whisper, forcing him to look at you.   
He hisses at you, fucking growls, pushing you into the table by the hips.  
A small gasp leaves you as your back hits the cold surface. A spike of desire shoots through you, making you whimper.   
Bucky's grip on your hips tighten, his eyes growing momentarily dark as he growls again, hair falling in his face as moves closer to you.   
There's a flurry of movement, scraping chairs, yelling as the team scrambles to get you away from him.   
Bucky’s metal hand slips under the tank top you are wearing, sending delightful goosebumps dancing across your skin.   
“James,” you say in a voice that sounds awfully close to a moan.   
He bites his bottom lip, small groans leaving him as he moves closer to you.   
You can feel the heat radiating off him, he’s so close. You can smell the lingering scent of his body wash, feel the corded muscles in his abdomen, but he’s yanked away from you by Thor.   
You’re pulled bodily across the kitchen table by Steve who shoves you behind him, taking a defensive stance in front of you.   
Disappointment rages through you. Did that just happen? Did Bucky nearly kiss you? What in the actual fuck is happening? 

Confused, aroused, and angry, you stomp out of the kitchen, not bothering to get an explanation, uncertain if you want one. Moving toward the gym, doubt niggles at you. You most certainly imagined the entire thing.   
He was angry, and an angry Bucky Barnes is an unpredictable Bucky Barnes.   
Yanking at your ponytail in frustration, you eye one of the punching bags. Wrapping your hands in tape, you unleash hell on the bag in front of you. Grunts leaving you in infrequent intervals.   
Stupid! you think. He’s with that snivelling woman. Wouldn't look twice at someone like you. You were an awkward lump. A socially inept filler girl for when Bucky couldn't get someone to warm his bed, or when he was feeling vulnerable, or when the nightmares reared their ugly heads. You were nothing but a pit stop. A stepping stone for something better.   
You're so engrossed in battling the bag, you don't hear Steve come up behind you.   
“Easy, slugger,” he murmurs as he grabs your arms. “What did the bag do to ya?” he jokes trying to lighten the tension in the air.   
You let out a reluctant laugh, wiping the sweat out of your eyes. You smile at the Super Soldier as he regards you closely.   
“You doin’ ok, doll? That was pretty intense.”   
You sigh. “I’m fine.. It was just.. Having him so close? Looking at me like that? I…” you can't seem to find the words to describe how you’re feeling, a deep sadness settling on you.   
Steve smiles sympathetically, before lighting up like the fourth of July. “I got an idea, doll face.” He grins wickedly.   
“No!” you nearly scream. “I want no part of your half-cocked schemes, Rogers!” Backing away slowly from the blond, he pulls you to his chest.   
Strong arms engulfing you in a comforting embrace. “We’re gonna show Buck what he’s missin’, darlin’.”   
Horror. That's the best way you can describe the emotion currently coursing through you. “Stevie..” you plead.   
You can feel his chest rumble with suppressed laughter. “Don’ fight me on this, doll,” he gently replies.   
Sighing you peek at him through your eyelashes. “Alright, Captain. What do you have in mind?”   
His smile is blinding, blue eyes dancing with affection.  
“(Y/N)? Will ya be my pretend best girl?”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

This was a horrible idea. 

You knew agreeing to pretend to date Steve wasn't your finest moment, but you were stuck now. It reeked of desperation. Every time someone looked at your intertwined fingers, you felt that they could see right through the farce. It was a cluster fuck of epic proportions. 

Steve was sickeningly affectionate, nipping at your neck, pressing kisses to your lips whenever Bucky was in the same room as you. He’d been uncharacteristically distant the last few days, leaving the room with a dark scowl on his face whenever you and Steve got ‘cosy’. Melissa had shown up more frequently, displays of affection turning more and more sexual between the two. 

It made you sick, made you feel worthless and ugly every time he growled naughty suggestions in her ear, and her shrill giggle pierced the air.

Walking hand-in-hand with Steve to the weekly movie night, lost in deep thought, Steve stops short. Melissa and Bucky are curled tightly around each other, the former giggling at something he said.

“You up for this doll?” Steve whispers, concern etched on his face. 

Squaring your shoulders, you nod once. Gritting your teeth you reply, “Feel like turning it up a notch?” 

His eyebrows raise in surprise before he breaks out into a sexy smirk. 

If you were a lesser woman you would be a puddle on the floor. 

He leans down close to you, breath fanning across your face. “Let's give em hell, darlin’,” he practically growls. 

Pushing aside the jealousy, you plaster on the best smile you can. Wrapping an arm around Steve’s waist, his hand resting casually on your firm backside, you stride into the room together. 

Steve squeezes the firm muscle hard as you move in front of Bucky. 

You let out a startled squeak before breaking out in a fit of giggles. “Behave, soldier,” you stage whisper.

He grins crookedly, pulling you into his chest. Both hands now rests on your backside. “You know I can't keep my hands off of ya, darlin’,” he murmurs as he nips at your neck. Peppering kissing along your jaw, he captures your lips in a passionate kiss.

Your hands instinctively fly to his hair, letting out a rather fake moan into his mouth.

He pulls away, chuckling darkly, “Later, baby girl.” 

Bucky clears his throat behind you. “Can you two quit it? We’re trying to watch a movie.” 

Rage clear on his face, Steve regards his friend cooly. “Sorry, Buck, I can't get enough of my girl.” 

Gritting his teeth, Bucky rises from his seat on the couch. “That’s the thing, Steve. Since when has she been anything to you other than a friend?” 

Steve lets go of you abruptly, facing his friend dead on. “We’ve been getting closer since you and the..” he clears his throat, “Since you and Mel started dating, it escalated.” he shrugs nonchalantly. 

“We both know she ain't your type, Steve! What the fuck is going on!” He whirls to face you.

Your stomach drops. Of course he would think you dating a man like Steve would be implausible. 

“What the hell is that supposed to mean, jerk?” Steve all but roars, his anger at his best friends lack of filter rising to the surface. 

You shrink into yourself, mortified by the disbelief in Bucky’s voice. Ugly, you think, That's all I am ugly and worthless. 

“Ya know what I mean, Steven! (Y/N) is… she’s….” he struggles to find the words to describe you. 

A sob makes it past your lips. “Fat?” you whisper. 

Bucky’s eyes snap to yours.

“Ugly?” you continue. 

Bucky's mouth slack with horror. “No… I... That's not what I meant!” he tries to backpedal. 

You can hear Melissa sniggering behind you. 

“No, James, I get it.” You take a steadying breath. “Just because you wouldn't look twice at me, Barnes, doesn't mean other men can't appreciate me for more than my appearance.” Tears leak down your face. 

He had hit the nail on the head. 

You weren't ever going to be good enough for a man like him. Or Steve. 

“Krasivaya…” he begins.

You hold up a hand to stop the half assed apology about to come from his mouth. Shutting down all emotion, you look up at him. “I would appreciate it if you would stop calling me that sergeant. I am obviously not beautiful. That much you have made perfectly clear.” 

You feel dead inside. Emotionless. An empty void. 

Turning to Steve, you grab onto his hand trying to anchor yourself to reality. 

“Take me to bed, soldier?” you ask as Bucky bares his teeth at his friend. 

“Now you're talking, baby girl. I’ll meet you there in five. I have a few things to discuss with, Bucky.” 

Nodding, you bid everyone goodnight. You haven't made it five feet beyond the door before the enraged voice of Steve Rogers reaches you.

“What the fuck was that, Barnes?” he roars. 

You can hear the collective gasp of everyone in the room. The clean cut, all American soldier swearing? 

It brings a tentative smile to your face.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

Bucky’s POV

Oh, he had fucked up this time. His inability to describe how beautiful you truly were causing you deep pain. That made him disgusted with himself. 

The way you had shrunk in on yourself, reached for Steve for comfort, he was no longer your go to guy. No longer the man you sought out when you felt down. He had been replaced by his best friend. The best friend that got to touch you in ways he had only ever dreamt about. That got to kiss you and feel you and wake up to your smile. 

He’d been so close to finally claiming you that day in the kitchen. So close to finally tasting you. But Steve just had to rip you away from him. 

He was angry. Angry at you. Angry with Steve for not realising how deeply in love with you he truly was. 

“What the fuck was that, punk?” Steve spits out. 

“That was me telling the truth. You wouldn't ever go for a dame like her, and all of a sudden you can't keep ya hands off of her?” He scoffs, watching as Steve sucks in a harsh breath. 

“Jesus, Buck. What the hell is wrong with you?” Steve asks in disbelief. 

He merely snorts, turning to Mel, “We’re going to bed,” he grits out. Yanking her from her seat, and ushering her down the hall. He’s slightly disgusted at the way she revels in his attention. 

Shoving her hard against the door, he rips the top she’s wearing down the front, exposing her perfect body to the cool air. He wastes no time in sucking a nipple into his mouth. 

Her moan sounds wrong to his ears. Her body doesn’t feeling right under his hands. Her hands tug at his hair. “James,” she moans. 

He cringes at the tone of her voice, wishing with everything he has that it was you writhing underneath him. 

He growls out, “On your knees.” 

She complies immediately, sinking down to the ground, fumbling with his zipper. 

All he needed was to forget. 

Melissa was a means to an end. 

 

Your POV:

You were curled up in a ball on your bed, listening to the moans filtering through the wall. 

It had you sick to the stomach. Bile rises in your throat. You wanted nothing more than to run from this place. But you had a duty. A responsibility to the people of the world. You were never one to give up when the going got tough. 

Steve enters the bedroom, his nose crinkling in disgust as he hears the moans of his best friend through the wall. He doesn't bother asking your permission. He picks you up bridal style, carrying you to his bedroom, and depositing you on his bed. He crawls in behind you, nuzzling into your hair, the well of emotion finally bubbles over. 

“Why can't I be pretty like her, Stevie?” you sob as you shove your face into the pillow. “Why can't he see me for what I am?” 

Steve strokes your hair, listening as you cry out your pain. 

“How did I end up here? How did I become this person?” 

Steve sighs. “Oh, doll. Why can't ya see how beautiful, how special you truly are?” he says, sadness bleeding into his tone.

You snort. “I’m not though, am I? He only sees a fat, useless lump! God knows I’ve tried, Steve. I’ve tried to make him see me as more, but he’ll only ever see the outside. He’ll never know how much I love him.” Words drown in the ugly crying which is currently happening. 

“Shh, baby girl. It's gonna be okay.” Steve tries to comfort you, hugging you tighter. “He’s a fool for not seein’ what's right in front of him, and I’m always gonna be here for ya, darlin’.” 

You turn to face him, hope plain on your face. “Do you mean it? You aren't going to toss me to the side when you find someone to love?” 

He chuckles dryly. “Oh, doll. I could never do that to ya, you’re my friend. And ya mean the world ta me. I promise I’ll always be there for ya.” 

You believe him. 

Steve Rogers isn't one to lie. He’s too good, too pure. 

Content with the knowledge that you aren't completely alone in the world, you fall into a dreamless sleep, snuggled tightly in Captain America’s arms.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

You wake slowly, nestled tightly against a well muscled chest. The scent of pine and man confuses you. This isn't your room. Not your sheets. Not your walls. You futilely try and disengage yourself from the man-wall currently crushing you, attempting to make out any distinguishing features.  
Your bladder protesting loudly, you catch a glimpse of blond hair. Your mind finally comes to the conclusion you're stuck, caged in Steve’s arms. “Steve,” you murmur, “Move. I need to pee.”   
He doesn't move, opting instead to draw you tighter to him. Who knew Captain America was such an avid cuddler?   
“Hun, I’m about to pee on you if you don’t move.” You receive a groan in reply and a distracted kiss to your forehead. “Steve! Move!” You wriggle in his grip.   
Again he doesn't budge, just smothers you in his man-boobs.   
Opening your mouth to let out a tirade of insults, you are abruptly cut off by the bedroom door being flung open. Peeking over Steve’s shoulder, you groan inwardly, trying to sink deeper into the mattress.   
“Punk, wake up! You’re late for training.” Bucky’s terse voice fills the air, he hasn't seemed to notice you yet, and you pray he doesn't come any closer.   
You do not want another argument.  
“Jeez, punk, wake up!” he mutters as he strides toward the bed. Shaking Steve by the shoulder, his gaze meets yours. His expression turning guarded as he sees you plastered against his best friend. “What? You don't have your own bed?” he snarks.  
You roll your eyes, grinding your teeth together, trying to keep a lid on the rage boiling inside you. “I would have slept in my own fucking bed if I didn't have to listen to you and your precious Mel banging like bunnies in heat, Barnes!” Snarling at him, you use the power you have to dislodge yourself from Steve. Rising from the bed you level him with all the hate you can muster. “Get out. I’ll wake Steve and send him down to you.”   
His look of hurt and surprise throws you off guard. You can't stand to see him in pain. He’s your one weakness and you can feel your resolve crumbling as he advances on you, stalking you like prey, lips curled back in a feral snarl. His stormy gaze searing through you.   
“I don care how long we’ve been friends, (y/n). I don care how much you helped me when I first got here, but your snark is pissing me off! Either tell me what your problem is, or don talk to me. I'm tired of playing this game with you.” His voice is low in warning, teeth gritting against his anger.  
You feel the hollow ache of the previous evening returning full force. “You’d throw it all away, James? Every memory? Every moment? You’d throw it all away... for her?” Your eyes are downcast, willing yourself not to cry. You weren't that important to him after all. “Think carefully, James. Once it's said it can't be unsaid.” Biting your lip in agitation, you patiently wait for his answer. The words that will determine whether or not you could ever get past this.   
He seems to inflate slightly, his face cold and hard.   
You know the answer before the words leave his lips.   
He shrugs. “Send him down when you’ve woken him. I ain’t got all day.” With a curt nod, he turns to leave. “(Y/L/N).”  
The conversation ends with him striding determinedly away from you.   
Clamping down on the tidal wave threatening to overwhelm you, you hurry to wake Steve, shaking him roughly by the shoulder, muttering Bucky’s message once his blue eyes blink into focus.   
Message delivered, you sprint from the room, wanting nothing more than to shut yourself away, locking yourself in your bedroom. Beelining for the shower, you turn on scolding hot water, step beneath the spray, hissing as the water hits your flesh. You can't bring yourself to care.   
After all this time, he had finally realised how worthless you were to him. He had chosen her, a woman he’d been seeing for three months over you. That's how little you meant to him, to any of them.   
Sinking down to the wet shower floor, a raw sob escapes you. Why were you this person? Why would no one love you? Were you just a burden on the team?   
Not enough   
You were never going to be enough for him.   
For them.   
You were nothing. A void. A walking failure. 

And you were never going to be enough.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

Translations  
Zabud’ ob etom- Leave it alone  
mne malo- I am not enough  
Kak eto ispravit-How do i fix it? 

 

Stepping out of your room, armoured thickly against the people you love, you stride into the kitchen. The entire team is assembled, fighting over breakfast as usual. You ignore it, wanting to get down to the gym as fast as possible, but not wanting a lecture on nutrition from Steve you whip up a makeshift breakfast.   
“Mornin, baby girl,” Steve greets, making a grab at you.   
You avoid his grasp.   
He recoils as if stung. “(Y/N)?” he questions, eyes wide and searching.   
You ignore the look of hurt on his face as you try and squeeze between Sam and Tony. “Move up please, T,” you murmur.  
He shuffles over quickly as Melissa snickers and comments, “Can't even get her fat ass into a chair.”   
The entire room falls silent as all eyes snap to her. There’s a ringing in your ears, Mortification and anger simmering underneath the surface.   
“Rein in your bitch, Barnes, before I do it for you!” Nat snaps at him. She whirls on Melissa. “I will rip you to pieces if you speak to her again, even look at her again!” she snarls, eyes burning with rage.   
You always seem to ruin the simplest of things. Not even breakfast was safe from the ugliness you brought with you. “Sestra,” you whisper, “Zabud’ ob etom.”   
She turns to face you, disbelief written plainly on her face. “Why do you do that? Why do you brush off every insult they seem to throw at you?” she all but screams, rising to slam her hands down on the table, leaning over it, as close to you as she can get without climbing over it..   
Rising from your chair, breakfast forgotten in the wake of your rapidly plummeting stomach, you shrug. “Mne malo,” you state firmly, completely missing the heartbreak on Bucky’s face.   
Head down, avoiding all eye contact, you escape to the gym. Maybe beating the hell out of something for the next few hours would fill the void which just kept growing in your soul.

 

Bucky’s POV

He’s dumbfounded. Floundering.   
“What did she say?” Steve asks nervously, his eyes boring into Bucky’s.   
“She said she’s not enough,” he answers simply, staring into his plate. He knew he’d hurt you. He knew distancing himself from you so he didn't have to see you with Steve was a stupid move. He regretted it. It had guilt gnawing at him.   
Melissa snorts a laugh beside him, not even trying to hide it.   
He explodes into action, jerking to his feet so fast, his chair goes over backwards with a crash. “Get the fuck out!”   
“Baby?” she squeaks, paling at the sudden anger directed towards her   
“Get. The. Fuck. Out! You aren't welcome here anymore. What the fuck is wrong with you talkin’ to other people like that?” grinding his teeth together “This is done. We’re over”   
Nat is beside him in an instant. “You heard him. Get out before I make you. Or better yet, stay. I’d really like to make you leave.” She smiles her widow smile, the one which has the others flinching.  
Melissa rises to her full height, her eyes darting between himself and Nat, before they settle on him. “You’re gonna regret this, James.”   
He snorts in derision. “I don think so, lady. Leave.”   
She glares at everyone before stalking out, slamming every door she can gets her hands on as she goes.   
He groans out loud. Fuck he’s a mess. What the hell was he playing at? Jesus, Barnes, he thinks. Guess you could take the words out of his head, but the monster still remained.   
“You have to fix this, Bucky,” Natalia says as she quirks a brow. “You’re paired with (Y/N) on a two week mission. Neither of you can afford to be distracted.”   
Rubbing his flesh hand across his eyes he murmurs, “Kak eto ispravit’?”   
Natasha smirks and shrugs. “You’re a big boy, Barnes. Figure it out.”   
He turns to face the rest of the team, ashamed of his behaviour, of the woman he’d allowed into his life, the woman who’d helped drive this wedge between himself and everyone else. He doesn’t even know where to start in his apology, but he knows who he needs to speak to first.  
Wanda pipes up quietly, “She’s in the gym.”   
He nods once, determined to make you understand what a collosal ass hat he was. 

 

Your POV

You were working yourself hard, sweat pouring down your back, and hairline. You had a mission. You had people to protect. An evil mad scientist to destroy. You needed to get your shit together. It was an undercover op for which you had yet to find out whom your partner would be. Hopefully Steve.   
It would be a desperately needed respite from the tension in the compound. You needed the time to clear your head. To build up your defenses against him. To mourn the loss of friendship and love without having his new relationship shoved in your face every time you entered a room.   
You hear the footsteps. You know that gaite, have scrutinized it for years. Sighing you begin unwrapping your hands. “What do you want, Barnes?” You swear you can hear him swallow.   
“I came to apologize. I was such a dick... I don know how to explain it, doll.”   
You freeze, the hope flaring in your chest unwelcome.   
“I’m your mission partner, doll, and we need ta clear the air.”   
You fight the urge to scoff. Of course he wouldn't want to apologize because he wanted to be a friend or a lover, he just didn't want to compromise the mission. Was this some sort of sick joke? You were going to murder Maria.  
Taking a calming breath, you nod once. “Apology accepted. It won't affect the mission.” Trying to sound businesslike, when all you really want to do is crawl into a ball or into him, is harder than you thought it would be.   
His brow furrows in confusion, an expression that had always been way too adorable for his own good. “Wha? No.. I meant..”   
Forcing a smile to your face, you address him before he can speak “Truly, James, it’s fine. I’m fine. I’ll be as professional as I can. None of our personal issues will feature.” Laughing lightly you forge on, “I’m just sorry you have to be stuck on a mission with me for two weeks.” Looking everywhere but at him, you clear your throat. “I need a change of scenery. I’ll see you later.” You make to move past him, needing to get away before you shatter into shards at his feet.   
“Krasivaya..” he whispers, hand outstretched.   
You tense, a wave of emotion tearing through you, causing you to falter slightly as you stride forward. You pretend you hadn't heard him, knowing full well aren't fooling him, but you don't have the emotional capacity to deal with a guilty Bucky Barnes right now.   
It's gone balls up, the damage is irreparable.   
And it was all… your... fault.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

Exiting the gym, needing to pack and have a good cry before spending way too much time confined with Bucky, you turn a corner and see Steve.   
He wastes no time in hauling you off your feet and slinging you over his shoulder. It’s clear he’s mad at you, the tightness of his shoulders and tense set of his jaw giving him away. “What the hell was that, doll?” he grits out.   
Shame coats your insides, replaced quickly by anger. “Put me down you child!” Wriggling to escape his grasp is a fruitless endeavour, you know this. The man pulled a helicopter out of the air for heaven sake! There was no way you could escape him, but you were still going to try.   
“Stop moving!” he grunts, his hand comes down in arc landing a solid hit your ass.  
The stinging makes you gasp. “What the hell, Steven!” you yell, face red from embarrassment. There are Agents lingering in the halls of the compound.You can hear the snickering and suggestive remarks. This little incident was going to be fodder for the gossipmongers within minutes. You were suprised no one was taking video. Fueled by your embarrassment, you start to fight in earnest, pounding and scratching at his back, doing your best impression of a pissed off chinchilla.   
He grunts once, wrapping a muscled arm around your flailing legs to stop you from kicking. “If you don stop, doll, I'm gonna put you over my knee and spank you blue,” he grumbles in warning.  
You deflate, laying limp over his shoulder as he takes you to your bedroom. You aren't looking forward to the myriad of rumours you’ll have to face when you get back. Immortal Mutant foiled by Captain America, you think, snorting out loud as Steve kicks open the door to your bedroom.   
Striding forward, he deposits you unceremoniously on your bed. “Start talkin’.” He crosses his arms over his chest, slipping effortlessly into Captain America mode.   
You groan and roll your eyes, scrambling underneath your blankets, pulling them over your head “Go away!” you yell petulantly.   
He sighs and tries to yank the blankets off of you. A tug of war ensues, accompanied by hissing and swearing and pained grunts as you land kicks to Steve’s stomach. Fed up he growls once before ripping the blanket straight down the middle. Dragging you down the bed by your ankles, he yells, “Stop acting like a child! I said start talking!”   
Clamping your mouth shut, you peer up at him stubbornly, refusing to give an inch.   
“(Y/N) I swear to God almighty if you don' start talkin’ I’m gonna do somethin you’re gonna regret.”   
You cover your face with your hands, sighing. “Don’t make me, Steve.”   
He scoffs “Talk. What’s this not good enough bullshit? I want an explanation, now!”   
You sneak a look at him through your fingers.   
He’s red in the face, barely concealing the anger and hurt inside him.   
Well fucking done (Y/N). You can add another name to the list of all the people your miserable existence has affected negatively. 

Sitting upright, trying to pull your ankles out of his grasp, your cast your eyes downward. “It’s true,” you sigh, “don't try and tell me otherwise, Cap. Do we really need to do this now? I just want to take a shower, pack, and maybe cuddle a bit?” You cast puppy eyes at him, making sure to bite your bottom lip in the process. Cap is a sucker for cute, rarely saying no when you turn on the charm.  
He falters, a small smile lifting the corner of his mouth before he huffs, “Dammit, (Y/N)!”   
You know you’ve won. Grinning broadly, you sit on your haunches, batting your eyelashes for effect. “Can I shower please? You can get a head start on the packing?” your voice is sickly sweet.  
He’s nodding before he can stop himself, the Captain America facade slipping entirely, replaced by the Steve you would take a bullet for. “Fine. Shower, but this conversation isn't over.” He tries his best to be stern, but you can see him fail. The hard Captain America shell hid such a gooey Steve center!  
Bounding off the bed, grinning cheekily over your shoulder, you toss him wink. “We both know I won this round, Stevie.” You hurry into the bathroom, locking the door behind you as the indignant protest of Steve reaches your ears.

Twenty minutes later you exit the bathroom. Spying your bags packed, along with a duffle full of miscellaneous weapons sitting on top of the others, you frown. “I don't use weapons, Steve. I don’t need them.”   
He looks slightly sheepish. “I just want ya to be safe, doll. I don like it when you run into battle without a stitch of protection.”   
Your frown deepens. “Steve, they weigh me down. I really don't need them. I can strip the skin off bone in less than five seconds with my mind. What am I gonna do with a gun?” You peer at the topmost offending object and gasp, “Is that..Is that a grenade launcher?” Whirling, you face Steve.   
He’s rubbing at the back of his neck in embarrassment. “You can never be too careful, doll.”   
You bark out a laugh and launch yourself at him, engulfing him in a bone crushing hug. “What did I do to deserve a friend like you, Stevie?” you mumble into his chest.  
He strokes at your hair affectionately. “You exist, darlin’. That’s all it takes,” he states simply.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

That fucking combat suit, the one which made his thighs look good enough to bite, along with the tight vest straining over his chest, sets you groaning into Steve’s neck as he piggybacks you to the quinjet. The next two weeks were going to be torture.   
“Deep breaths, baby doll,” he says as Natasha chuckles throatily beside you.   
“How does he make that look so good?” you wonder aloud, eyes wide.   
Steve snorts. “Hey now, can't have my best girl ogling other men!”  
Giggling, you give his shoulder a playful smack. “Ah, Cap, you look good enough to eat in that striped suit of yours,” you purr into his ear.   
He blushes deeply and Natasha guffaws louder. “Careful, sestra. You might break him.”   
Smiling down at your friend, you make to retort when Bucky’s annoyed voice cuts through the jovial atmosphere. “We need to move,” he states. His eyes, trained on Steve’s hands gripping the back of your thighs to keep you steady, brings you crashing back to reality. 

You untangle yourself from Steve, adjusting your hood, smoothing down non existent creases. “Alright then,” you mutter, straining on your tiptoes to kiss Steve’s cheek. 

He smirks, pulls you in by the back of the neck, and plants a ferocious kiss to your lips. When he’s done, he murmurs against your lips, making sure to keep the glowering visage of one James Barnes from overhearing, “Be safe. And this is your chance. Give him hell.” 

You sigh. Fat chance of that happening. He made his feelings for you crystal clear, and you were done pining for someone who was never going to be yours. You embrace Natalia, lingering longer than necessary in the embrace. 

“Zabotit’sya o tvoyey sem’ye,” she whispers into your hair. 

“Always, sister. Don't worry overmuch for me.” 

She hold you at arm's length, gaze sweeping over your form, committing you to memory. Nodding once, she strides away from the jet. 

Assassins, you think, snorting lightly at her behaviour. They’re so dramatic. 

Sparing a curt nod in Bucky’s direction, you walk onto the jet. Strapping yourself into the seat, you stare fixedly at the wall, willing yourself not to glance his direction. To be as professional as you can. You have two weeks stuck in a confined room, doing surveillance, you do not need more tension. 

He takes the seat beside you, the click of the seat belt drawing you out of your thoughts. He clears is throat as the quinjet takes off. “So, you an’ Stevie are pretty serious, huh?” 

You quirk a brow at the offside question. Nibbling at your lower lip, you try and formulate a plausible way to dodge the question. When you look up at him, his gaze is trained on your now red lips. 

Trancelike, he reaches forward, gently runs his finger over it. “Don’ do that,” he says thickly.

You jerk away from the touch, stung by the familiarity in the action, the gentleness of it. You feel hot and cold at the same time, wanting to lean into the caress and run as far away as you can. “James,” you husk out as he snaps back to himself. 

“Sorry, you and Steve, huh?” 

Feeling slightly whiplashed by the bizarre turn of events, you eye him warily. “That’s really not your business, Sergeant. You should ask Steve,” you reply coolly. 

He rumbles out a growl. “I ain't asking him, am I, doll face? I’m askin you, and I want a straight answer!” he snaps.

You level him with an icy glare. “This has nothing to do with the mission Sergeant. I am happy to answer anything pertaining to what we are doing. My personal life, however, is none of your business. I would appreciate it if we kept things professional. Just like you wanted.” 

He sits back in his chair, head banging against the wall with enough force to make you wince. “So, this is how it’s gonna be now? This is what ya want?” He lets out a humourless laugh. “Fine. I'll do what ya want, Agent.” 

You bite down on your anger, bristling at his tone. “If you knew what I wanted, James Buchanan Barnes, we wouldn't be in this mess in the first place!” 

His brow furrows in confusion. “Whadda ya mean by that?” he asks, something akin to hope in his eyes.

You brush it off as fancy and reply, “We have a long flight, and I'm in no mood to fight with you.” Pulling out earphones from your duffle bag, you place them in your ears, drowning out any response he may have made. 

This was going to be a long two weeks. You had no idea how you were going to manage being so close to the object of your affection, and keep a lid on your emotions at the same time.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

There was one bed. One bed in this shitty podunk apartment. One fucking bed between you and Bucky, and you were ready to murder Maria and Fury. You were going to claw their eyes out, fuck with their brains so hard they would be begging for mercy. 

Nervously fidgeting with the cloak you are wearing, turning a bright red as the images of exactly what you would like to do to Bucky flash through your brain, you groan out loud. 

It catches Bucky's attention as he enters the apartment. Following your gaze, he stops dead in his track. “I’ll take the floor.” 

Scoffing, you turn away to hide your embarrassment and red flush of arousal. “Don't be ridiculous, you can't sleep on the floor the entire time we’re stuck here.” Your voice is quivering. 

He seems to contemplate this for a second before he replies with a curt, “Fine.” His jaw clenching as some unknown emotion seems to gnaw at him. 

You’d been in the air for 24 hours, exhaustion makes itself known in the flagging of your body. You felt disgusting and needed to clean up before you passed out for your eight hours. Grabbing a bag, you move into the bathroom. Crinkling your nose at the manky surroundings, you sigh as you turn on the shower. As you wait for the water to reach a temperature which doesn’t mimic frozen arctic, you unzip the bag Steve packed for you, and nearly climb out of your skin. 

You were going to murder him. Headlines would read of the fall of Captain America at the hands of the angry Immortal on whom he’d played the worst prank imaginable.

The bastard had packed the sexiest clothing you owned. It was all sheer lace and tight fitting. 

Your usual pajamas, comfy and well-worn, were nowhere to be found. Instead, you were stuck with one of Steve's flannel shirts, which hit you mid thigh and barely left anything to the imagination. 

That was it. It had finally happened, you were going to kill them all. No questions asked. No bodies would ever be found. You knew, deep down in your soul knew, Nat had some hand in this as well. 

Panicked and tired, you try desperately to find any sign of pants that don't cling to your curvaceous form like a second skin. You come up empty handed. Resigned to the fact that you were going to be half naked, sleeping in the same bed as the man you wanted to ride into oblivion, you strip out of your suit and step into the shower, hoping against hope that Bucky wouldn’t recoil in horror when you walked out the bathroom.

Donning the dreaded shirt, and zipping up your bag, you give yourself a pep talk. You can do this. It's just flesh. Why would he care? 

Fucking Steve. God you hated them all. 

Shaking yourself, you open the bathroom door and stride out, looking at your feet and trying to tug the shirt down. 

Bucky doesn't seem to notice because as soon as he hears you approach the first word he says are, “We’ll set up the equipment in the morning, I'm dead ass tired and I’m…” he trails off, eyes wide as he takes in your half dressed form. “Krasivaya..” his voice pitched low. 

You recoil as if stung, knowing for certain he’s mocking you. You hear the little voice in your head spews insults while you wait for Bucky to do the same. When did that voice start to sound like… Melissa?

“Where..” he licks at his dry lips. “Where are the rest of your clothes?” 

Your heart drops. “Steve packed for me.” It’s a simple answer, but it’s the only one you’ve got to give. Saying nothing else, you move toward the bed, throwing the covers back and getting in with haste. 

Bucky is mumbling to himself, having taken the opportunity to get undressed while you were in the shower. He’s wearing nothing but sweat pants, slung low on his hips. 

Hysterical laughter bubbles inside you which you fight down. You know you aren't getting any sleep tonight. 

He says nothing as he settles beside you, keeping a good distance between you.

You hunch into yourself, trying to make yourself as small as possible.

He seems to notice because he sighs and pulls you toward him, pressing his warm chest into your back.

You nearly purr at the contact, getting uncomfortably damp at the feel of his every muscle pressed into you. You squirm slightly trying to alleviate the tension building inside you. 

Bucky hisses and snaps. “Lie still. I can't sleep with you squirming.” 

Embarrassed beyond human comprehension, you settle. While you lay there, exhausted, turned on, so full of anxiety you want to scream, you pray these next two weeks would go by quickly.

You're startled awake by a low moan coming from the man behind you. His very prominent erection is grinding against your ass in the most delicious manner. The shirt you're wearing has been pushed up to below your breasts by Bucky’s metal hand which slides lazily down, coming to rest on your pubic bone. Moans fall freely from his lips. 

It's the most sinful thing you’ve ever heard.

You let out a whimper as a particularly hard thrust of his hips widens your legs further. His panty destroying thigh forcing its way between your knees. When his flesh hand sneaks beneath you, wrapping under your torso, it gives you a jolt but it’s the sudden grasping of you breast which makes you hiss in pleasure. 

As he drives his hips into you, you're lost in a haze of desire, fighting the urge to roll him over and give into every carnal desire. Your hips are rocking back onto him out of their own accord, grinding into the thick rod wedged between your cheeks. Reaching back you grab onto his thrusting back side, feeling the muscles expand and contract as he increases his pace.

His teeth find the pleasure point on your neck, sinking into the flesh. 

You moan in earnest, head falling back. 

Bucky’s mumbling unintelligibly, snippets of Russian phrases making it into your head.

You reach down to your center, desperate to relieve the ache he created, you slip your fingers inside your underwear. It’s wrong. So deliciously wrong. You know you need to stop it, but you can’t. It’s too good. Feels too right. You gasp as your fingers find your clit, circling in time with Bucky’s thrusts. You can feel the peak. It’s so close, mounting inside you, threatening to overwhelm you with pleasure of it. Arching into Bucky, you whimper, “Bucky please!” 

His movements stall. 

You hold your breath, thinking he’s woken up.

Instead, his grip on your waist tightens, metal hand skimming to the inside of your thigh, spreading your legs to grant him better access. His thrusts speed up, grunting as his release approaches.

You’re right there with him, moaning freely as the coil threatens to snap. 

Two more thrusts and he’s cumming, moaning low in his throat a, “(y/n),” slipping past his lips. 

You gasp as your orgasm overwhelms you, mind caught with Bucky’s voice as he moans your name. 

He goes limp beside you, his breathing harsh and labored. 

Your mind reels, confusion swimming through you. What the fresh fuck just happened? Turning around slowly, Bucky is fast asleep, hair splayed across his face. He’s rolled to his back, but his hand is still under you, clinging to your waist. You knew you would never be able to forget this. You would also never be able to look Bucky in the eye again.

He sighs, the sound one of complete happiness, and jerks his arm toward his body, taking you with him. 

Locked to his chest, you sigh. Apparently he was as cuddly as Steve.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

Bucky’s POV

He wakes slowly from the best dream he’s ever had. A deep contentment has settled in his soul. It was just a dream, but such a sweet dream, the accumulation of all his waking fantasies made manifest. As he traces nondescript patterns into the bare skin of the woman plastered against his chest, he knows he needs to get up, but he’s loathe to. He snuggles you closer, stealing a few extra minutes before he rises, breathing in your scent, taking in the smooth feel of your skin under his fingertips. He’d happily give up everything if he could stay like this with you, but he knows he did too much damage for that ever to be a reality. Sighing he untangles himself and heads to the bathroom for a shower, grabbing his bag as he passes.

Shuking off his sweatpants, he frowns at the garment. Is that....? Was that…? No, it couldn’t be. It was just a dream. He must have gotten a bit too excited. Confused and slightly bewildered, he steps into the shower, trying to shake off the lingering effects of the dream. It was no good. Even standing beneath the water’s cold spray, he could still feel you, smell you on his skin.  
Rinsing out his hair, he grabs a towel, steps out of the shower and faces the mirror. He stares at his reflection. He was being an idiot. He was pushing you further into the arms of Steve. He loved the man in his own roundabout way, he would move mountains to protect him, but you… you were something else entirely.   
You were special, smart, beautiful and kind. He’d hurt you in the worst possible way. No matter what, he was going to show you how much you meant to him. How much he coveted and worshipped the ground you walked on.   
Without being an asshole. He hoped.   
Mind made up, he threw on his clothing in record time. Walking out of the bathroom, he finds you awake, in the process of putting on the tightest leather pants he’d ever seen. 

Where you purposefully fuckng with him? He groans inwardly. 

You freeze, blushing deeply, not making eye contact. 

It sets him frowning.   
“Morning,” you mumble.

He tries to catch your eye. “Mornin’,” he replies. “You alrigh’?” 

“Fine! Just peachy!” you squeak, clearing your throat. “Will you start setting up the equipment?” you ask, staring fixedly at the floor. 

“Yeah, doll,” he replies, wondering what the hell he’d done wrong this time. 

 

 

Your Pov. 

Awkward morning pleasantries. Check. 

Embarrassed beyond belief? Check

Guilty as sin? Double check. 

He obviously didn't remember. He didn't know how you had taken advantage of him last night.

Wishing desperately you could phone Natasha, you need to talk this out, but your phone is restricted. 

Moving toward the equipment you take your seat, ignoring Bucky’s presence completely, watching the target pull up to the curb to meet his contact. You jot down any distinguishing features and a license plate, committing him to memory. You strain your mind, pushing at the walls of his, sifting through his memories, but there’s some sort of block. You can't reach the information you need. 

Eyes snapping open, you murmur, “Something's wrong.” 

Bucky is immediately alert. “What is it?” he asks as he scans the surrounding area for any movement. 

“I can't get into his head. He’s blocked me somehow. They must have there own telepath.” 

Bucky looks worried. “Could you take them? Sense their power?” 

You shake your head. “The person is too far away, I can't get a lock on them. I have no idea if they are on my level.” Concentrating on the source, you push yourself to the limit, trying futilely to get a read on the mutant. Frustrated you push harder, the corner of your mind going fuzzy.   
Bucky's hand, roughly shaking you out of your trance, brings you back to the present. His worried gaze boring into you, he eyes you up and down. “Don’ do that! You could hurt yourself. Don’ be so damn reckless all the time. You’re my responsibility!” he snaps.   
You’re used to Bucky’s about turns when it comes to the safety of his teammates. It still smarts though. You were perfectly capable of taking care of yourself.   
His words, though, feed your insecurities.   
The Melissa-esq voice in your mind begins snarling obscenities at you.   
Not enough... Never enough... You’ll never be more than second best... A burden to those you love... A waist of space... Fat... Ugly… Worthless...  
Your vision darkens.. The overwhelming pressure in your mind begins pouring out. You’re losing your grip on reality. You can't seem to rein yourself back in.   
Panicked, you try and find an anchor. A thought, a memory, anything to grab onto. There's nothing an empty void before your eyes. You know this feeling. It's the feeling of someone else pushing you out of your head, the way Charles used to when he was teaching you control.   
You grab onto the first thing you can find, a physical anchor when you can’t find a mental one, which happens to be Bucky’s metal arm. Clamping down the scream rising in your throat, you throw up a shield around the two of you before seeking out the black tendrils in your mind.   
The foreignness of the intruder makes you unbearably angry. You can feel the power leaking out of you. Paint starts peeling off walls, tiles crack, furniture splinters, and plants die while you fight for control of your mind.   
Snarling viciously, you give an almighty push, lashing the intruder with a whip of psychic energy.   
The accompanying shriek of the other telepath has you grinding your teeth. It's a painful, desperate sound. Your whip would burn like acid, sear through the nerve endings like fire, putting this powerful foe out of commission for at least a day.It makes every nerve in your body protest as, tied together like you were, you were the recipient of a vicious wave of backlash.   
Slumping forward, you drop the shield, sucking in large gulps of air as you try and bring yourself back. Your head feels like the John Bonham from Led Zeppelin is playing a drum solo in it. “Jesus,” you huff out, taking in the carnage which surrounds you.   
Bucky’s crouched in front of you, tilting your chin upward. He gently strokes your cheek, “What happened, Krasivaya?”   
With his eyes searching yours, you can sense the barely concealed panic under the facade he’s putting up.   
“What was that?” he asks again, intertwining your fingers with his metal hand.   
“That Telepath is a level 5 mutant, James. She’s as strong as I am, if not stronger.” Faltering, you squash the mounting dread. “She knows who I am now. She knows what my mind looks like.” You scan the room, pushing your taxed senses to find any unfriendly minds. It feels like your brain is on fire, but you need to be certain no one was coming for the two of you. “We need to finish this as soon as we can, before it comes to a fight. I don't know if I can win if it does,” you say, trying to make him understand. Guilt eats at you with your inability to protect him. What good were you to anyone? You were useless, a failure. You couldn’t even keep yourself together, keep a stranger out of your own damn mind. What reason did you even have for being anymore?  
He nods once, rising to his feet,moving toward the upturned chair. Righting it, he takes a seat at the window. Before returning to the surveillance equipment, he stops to side-eye you. “You ain't alone, Krasivaya,” he says nervously. “I’ll always protect ya.”   
A rush of hope fills your chest.  
He clears his throat. “Steve would murder me if I didn't bring you home.”  
Your heart falls, shattering like glass into shards so small, you’ll never put it back together.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

Three days had passed with you and Bucky on high alert. Every muted noise, every voice had you both jumping out of your skin. It didn't help that the tension between the two of you was thicker than was comfortable.   
Sparks ignited on your skin with every passing touch. Your breath would hitch every time he came close. It was maddening. It had you on edge, made you jumpy. You needed to get out of this tiny dank hell before you climbed the man like a tree.   
The physical reaction you had toward him was in direct conflict with your emotions. The harsh words of Bucky played on an endless loop in your head. Melissa’s high pitched laugh filtered through at regular intervals.   
It scared the living daylights out of you, but you couldn't shut it off, no matter how hard you tried. 

You and Bucky were turning in for the night. The tension snuffing out any conversation you may have had while you brushed out your long (H/C) locks. 

Bucky’s arm is lying casually over his eyes as he tries to unwind from the day. 

Sighing inwardly, you deposit the brush on the nightstand. Pulling back the covers on the bed, you make to get in with him when there's four sharp raps on the door. 

You straighten up, trying to get a read on the person. There’s nothing but static. It’s the same thing Wanda gets when trying to read you. You shake your head no at Bucky who leaps out of bed with a grace you envy.

He moves toward the bag of weapons Steve had packed while you crouch low, waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

Before he can make it, the door splinters inward, shards raining down in a hail of dust. 

“Honey! I’m home!” The nasal voice of none other than Melissa fills the tiny apartment. 

Bucky gasps, “Mel? What the hell!?” 

She laughs, a sound that sends shivers down your spine. “I told you, you would regret leaving me, baby,” she purrs at him.   
Your hackles raise, blind hot anger sears through you.  
She flicks her wrist sending Bucky flying into a wall. “Oh look, it's the sad little third wheel. Still hopelessly in love with a man you can't have?” Her eyes glow green as she directs a flow of power at you.   
It draws a long, angry cut down your cheek.   
She laughs joyfully only to snarls when the cut she made closes just as quickly.   
You quirk a brow. “Didn't read my whole file, did you, Mel?” you snigger, throwing up a shield around Bucky. “Awe. Poor baby didn’t know she couldn't hurt me?” you taunt, forming a ball of red energy in your hands.   
You aim directly at her chest and let go.   
The blow sends her crashing into a table.   
Bucky falls to the floor as her grip on him loosens. He grunts, scrambling to his feet, attempting to get closer to you.   
You stop him mid step, effectively freezing him in place with a thought.   
“Let go, (Y/N),” he says with an angry growl.  
You ignore him.   
He’ll be far safer if he’s not in the thick of this forthcoming psychic battle.   
Mel rises to her feet, hovering slightly in mid air.  
You do the same. A red glow encompasses you as your power courses through you. The full might of who and what you are races through your veins. The feeling is ecstasy and agony. A beginning and an end. You are all powerful, but your power isn’t limitless. You smile wickedly as she screams her outrage, throwing everything she has your direction.   
It sends you careening into a frozen Bucky, slamming you both into the wall. Biting back a scream as a rib pierces through your skin, you force yourself to ignore the pain. Getting to your feet, you glance between Bucky and the weapons bag.   
His eyes spark in acknowledgement, knowing instantly what you want to do.   
Throwing a bolt of power back at her, a distraction which sees Mel dodging out of the way, you take a running leap, vaulting over the the sofa. Curling a fist you superman punch her in the face. Landing lightly, you bringing a knee to her solar plexus, doubling her over.   
She coughs, spits blood. Her hand lashes out, tries to claw at your face.  
Spinning out her reach, you slide behind her, executing a kick to the back of her knee. The resounding crack when her knee breaks is followed instantly by a shriek of agony which echos within the small room.   
Before she can collapse to the floor, you grab her by the hair, wrenching her head back. “What was your purpose here?”  
“Bite me you fat bitch!” she snarls at you.   
There is no remorse left in you when you step firmly on her broken knee. Her moan is both satisfying and disappointing. You were looking for a scream. “Wrong answer. Who are you working for? HYDRA?” Again she resists you. You step harder. The scream you wanted leaves her throat, causing your eyes to flash red, a dark laugh escapes your lips. “Try again.”  
“Krasivaya, that’s enough.” Bucky takes a step toward you.  
You freeze him in place with a look. Even now, after all his precious Mel has done, he still chooses her over you? What shards of your heart which were left crumble into dust. They fall to ash around you.   
It’s over. You’ve lost. There’s nothing left.   
Mel laughs, her eyes showing she knows exactly what you’re thinking.  
When the brush of her mind touches yours, you flinch. You almost cave, give in, give up. But… Bucky. Even if he will never love you, you will forever love him. Even if it is your last act, you will make certain he’s protected at any cost.  
Releasing Mel’s hair, you latch your hand around her throat. The widening of her eyes is nearly comical, but you don’t bother to laugh. What would be the point? “You brought this on yourself.”   
Fear fills her face.  
Charles had taught you a trick. A last resort move should it ever be necessary. He’d warned you against using it. Told you the cost. But the cost was worth it.   
The red haze of your power gathers, a spiraling dance, whipping your hair around your face. You close your eyes, pull it inside yourself, and force your way past Mel’s shields.   
Her life unfolds like a movie. Everything she was, who she’s become, why, it is all laid bare before you. “She’s HYDRA. They sent her for you, Bucky. They want their soldier back. Her relationship with you was a ruse from word go.” There’s a sharp intake of breath from behind you. “I’m sorry,” you whisper, knowing it had to hurt finding out it was all a lie. The final bit of her orders slam through you, makes you gasp. “There’s more of them coming!” Your eyes shoot to Bucky.   
His eyes are hard, cold. His jaw clenches as you nod.   
When he tosses you the grenade, you catch it one handed, jerking free the pin with your teeth. The hand you have wrapped around her throat tightens, more power gathers around your fist as you shove the hand with the grenade between her ribs making Mel gasp.   
She screams when you pull your hand free, sans grenade, and the wound closes like it was never there. Frantic scratching commences when you release her, but there is no way to get it out by herself.   
“You bitch! Just kill yourself already and do everyone a favor!”  
The words hit you harder than anything else she’s thrown your way. They’re the dark ones which have been floating around your head for weeks. The ones which have been coming day and night in Mel’s voice are now out there, in the open, laid bare for everyone to see.  
A tear falls down your face.

You have five seconds to get yourself and Bucky out of the apartment before it all goes to hell. Running full tilt at Bucky, you use all the physical strength you have to pull him off his feet, thrusting the two of you through the window in a shower of glass. It's a long, looong way down. 

Flipping yourself over, you make sure you’re looking up at him as you fall. The resounding explosion above pops your eardrums as the floors of the building flash by.. 

What you’d done to Mel, stripping back a telepath as strong as you, has drained you to the very limits of your strength. There is only enough left to stop one of you from hitting the ground full force. The choice is a simple one.

This is going to hurt, you think, hysterical laughter bubbling out of you as you get ever closer to impact. 

Bucky is screaming above you, hands outstretched as he falls, eyes pleading for you to help yourself... but you can't. 

You're exhausted. It took too much. This is the price and you’re willing to pay it to save him, save Bucky. It hits you as funny. This time when he falls, you’ll be there to catch him. 

You smile at him lovingly, reach your hand out toward him, fingertips nearly touching. The ground is close, you don’t have to look, you can see the terror in his eyes. “It’s okay,” you say, unsure whether he can hear you. “My choice. I love you, Bucky.” 

Right before you hit the ground, you shove every ounce of power left in your body toward him. It hits him like a cloud, slowing his descent without causing injury, allowing him to drop the final few feet to the ground with ease. 

You, on the other hand, hit the pavement with enough force to break every bone in your body. 

There’s pain, excruciating, a voice screaming, then... blackness.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

Bucky's POV:  
There were too many.   
He could see the oncoming soldiers as your body lay shattered at his feet. Your blood was spreading across the concrete, eyes staring unblinking into the night sky, a tiny smile on your lips. Your last words kept playing on a loop in his head.   
I love you...   
You’d spoken those words to him with acceptance in your eyes as you plunged to your death. It destroyed him. He was so close to finally having you in his arms, finally making you his, but you’d taken yourself away, given your life to save his.   
A wrecked wail forces its way out of his throat as he crouches over you. Choking on sorrow, blinded by tears of regret, he pulls you into his chest, stroking the blood matted hair away from your face. "I'm sorry," he cries, pain filling his soul. "I love you. I'm so fuckin sorry!"   
The dull echo of boots hitting pavement pulls him to the present, the blur of tears making it nigh impossible to see.   
He stands gingerly with you cradled firmly to him, the heat of your body cooling as you fade from life. Fingertips skim over your eyelids, closing your sightless eyes.   
You were out of his reach now. Dead. He would never again see you smile break across your lips. Your laughter would never again be heard.   
He would no longer get to tease you about your fondness for red velvet cupcakes. He would no longer feel your body pressed against his. Your scent would slowly fade from his memory, lost to time and regrets.   
He swallows down the whimper. It was his fault. He’d sworn to protect you, sworn that no one would ever get close to hurting you.   
A tear falls landing on your cheek.   
It’s as if you cringe, but he chalks it down to a death rattle, taking off in a dead sprint to the designated safe house. He needed to call for backup, needed to round up the remaining agents, somehow break the news to Steve, and get you home.  
Weaving in and out of alley ways, dodging stunned passers by as he becomes a mere streak in the night,, he tries to outrace the pain in his heart. The effort is a futile one. Pausing to take his bearings, and catch a breath not laced with choked sobs, he thinks he’s imagining it when the sound first registers.  
Thump...Thump...  
The flutter of a weak heartbeat worms itself up his arm, your carotid artery jumps slightly with every beat.   
He stares down at you in stupefaction. Could it be? Not daring to hope, he sneaks inside the warehouse, scanning the area for a comparatively clean surface to lay you upon.  
Thump...Thump...Thump...  
Your eyelids flutter, fingers spasm as your genetic make up fights to save your life. Your skin ripples, knitting over open wounds. Bones snap back into place with a sickening crack. What blood stains your clothing and coats his arms suddenly reverses direction, returning to your form, sliding back inside your veins and arteries in a miracle of genetics. . Color floods your pale face as your lips taking on a red hue. Your body becomes flush with life, returning you to him in a miracle, a marvel, a fucking blessing.   
He can do nothing but hold your hand, move the hair out of your face as you come back to life before him. He wouldn't have to explain to Steve, to the others how he had failed you, failed them. Perhaps now he can earn your forgiveness, given time.   
Thump...Thu…  
He hears your heart falter.  
Eyes flying open, you sit bolt upright, sucking in lungfuls of air, scrambling backwards as you try and orient yourself. Scanning your surroundings wildly, chest heaving, your gaze finally lands on Bucky.  
He blinks down at you, relief flooding his every pore. He cups your face and pulls you roughly toward him, capturing your lips in a kiss that steals your breath and sets your nerves on fire. When you melt into him he sighs low, nipping at your bottom lip, finger sweeping over your delicate cheekbone. "Krasivaya…" he mumbles against your lips. His heart is threatening to jump out if his chest. Goosebumps dance across his skin. His mind is drunk on the taste of you.   
You were here, you were alive, and he was never letting you go.   
His love, his heart, his sanity.”You came back to me,” he murmurs, diving in for a second taste.   
Your Pov  
Shock, bliss, agony, joy. All these emotions currently shoot through you at a pace you can't keep up with. The feel of his lips, the taste of his tongue has you giddy. You can't focus. Your hands develop a mind of their own, trailing up his leather clad chest, seeking out the buckles that would expose him to you. Moaning lowly you tangle a hand in his hair.   
"Krasivaya," he murmurs.   
You jerk away, that one word like a bucket of ice thrown over you. Jumping off the table, putting as much distance between yourself and Bucky as you can, you rapidly shake your head. "Don't call me that!" you snap. Straightening your clothes, you force yourself to become all business. "Have you contacted the others for pickup?" you ask, trying to wrap your mind around the fact that you died. And Bucky kissed you. You can't decide what's worse, or better.  
"You told me you loved me," he accuses, tone dripping with hurt.  
Terror. Blind panic. Both rage through you in a blinding flash.   
Turning with a snort, hands on your hips, you glare at him. "You must have heard wrong," is your scathing reply.  
He clenches his fists tightly at his side, gritting his teeth. "I have super soldier hearing. I heard what you said."   
You laugh out loud, taunting him. "You imagined it, Sergeant. We fell a hell of a long way. I feel nothing beyond friendship for you, and that's debatable at this point."   
He covers the distance between you in seconds, grabbing you by the arms. "I watched you fall!" he spits out. "I watched you sacrifice yourself for me, and you wanna tell me you feel nothing for me? That I didn't hear those words coming out of your mouth?" His piercing blue eyes scorch through you.  
You take a steadying breath. "That's exactly right, Bucky." The lie tastes foul on your tongue, so much so, you can't even stomach looking him in the eye.   
"I don' believe you. Tell me the truth!" he demands, dragging you closer.   
"Let me go, Barnes!" you snarl, trying to push yourself away from him, but you're drained, battery empty. It's going to be days before you can lift a pin with anything other than your hands.   
"Tell. Me.The.Truth!" he grits out.   
Frustrated, you level him with a glare that could strip the paint off walls. "What do you want me to say? Do you want me to fall into your arms, and pretend the last three months didn't happen? Do you want me to give myself to you and pretend I'm good enough for you when everyone knows I’m not?" willing the tears not to fall you forge on, "That's not going to happen! I died for you, isn't that enough? Haven’t I given enough? What else do you want from me?" you howl at him, trying to yank yourself out of his grip.  
He merely looks at you cooly, increasing the pressure with which he holds you. "What I want, doll face, is for you to tell me the truth," he pauses, a demonic smile on his face. "But if ya don' wanna give me the truth on your own, I guess I'll just have to make ya."


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> : You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

Sucking in a sharp breath,your back hits the wall with enough force to make you yelp softly in surprise.   
Both Bucky's hands are gripping your ass, a guttural growl spilling from his chest. "Are you gonna tell me the truth, prinsessa?" he asks as he nips at your neck, leaving a stinging mark in its wake. "Or am i gonna have ta make ya?"   
Moving your head to the side,you grant him better access, arms reaching to envelop his narrow waist. You can feel him smile into your neck as his hand skims the back of your thigh, pulling it up and securing it comfortably against his hip. Your brain short circuits as hot sparks of desire burn through you, gradually pooling low in your belly. "Bucky,” you moan, waring with yourself, “You don't want to do this… you can't want to do this." It makes no sense to you, not with your insecurities making themselves known. You’re the least of the group, nothing, no one. There is no way he could actually want you. Not after everything you’ve done, everything that made you unworthy of him.   
He pulls away from you slightly, baring his perfect white teeth at the remark. His vivid blue eyes are full of anger and regret. "Ya know what I want, Krasivaya?" he says, grinding his throbbing erection into your core. "I want to pound into you so hard the only words you can remember are fuck and my name." He grins wickedly before turning you around so fast your head spins, roughly shoving you chest first into the table.  
A stinging slap comes down onto your leather covered ass. It sends you arching, aching at the delightful burn of it, getting unimaginably wetter at the display of his power.   
"I want to bend you over and fuck you so hard," he says as he grips the round flesh in his metal hand, the other delivers another unrepentant smack to your ass, making you moan when the pleasure streaks straight to your core. "So perfect, Kitten, so good for me," he praises. "Such a sweet little ass."  
He spins you back just as fast, reaches for the front of your pants and tears them straight down the middle splitting the seam wide open. His nostrils flare as the scent of your arousal hits him, his eyes grow impossibly darker.   
You let out a whimper, so fucking turned on you want to scream. ,   
He runs a cold metal finger up your damp slit. "I could spend hours between your legs, days. Teasing, sucking, sipping from you, tasting you until you I’ve memorized every inch of your sweet lips," he murmurs as he brings his finger to his lips, licks it clean, moaning as the taste of you hits his tongue.   
"Fuck, Bucky..." you whimper.   
He smiles darkly, hand traveling beneath your shirt to tease your firm nipple. Pinching, tweaking, rolling, every pluck of his fingers has him grinding hips into your core, bringing you closer to release.  
"Are you gonna come, doll?" he whispers as he leans down, taking your earlobe into his mouth.   
You moan loudly, grinding yourself onto him, not caring if you looked desperate. "Please!" you cry, hands scratching at his back. Arching yourself into his chest, you cling to him, body aching, needing to come so bad you’re nearly willing to beg.   
He stops abruptly, pushing your hips down onto the table making it impossible to move.   
You whine, trying desperately to get friction on your aching clit as your orgasm abates. Moaning in disappointment, you open your eyes to find Bucky staring down at you.   
Beads of sweat have accumulated on his brow. "Nah uh, darling. Only good girls get to cum."   
Frustrated beyond belief, you groan loudly. "Come on, Barnes! Use it or lose it!" you sass, earning a stinging slap to the back of your thigh. Gasping at the unexpected sting, a red flush of arousal tints your cheeks.  
"Tell me the truth, baby, and I'll make you cum so hard you won't be able to speak for a week."   
It sends a fresh wave of wetness down your thighs. You're tempted to give in, tempted to tell him exactly how you feel, but you can't. You won't let him win, not after everything he's done. Clamping your mouth shut, you refuse to say another word.   
"If that's how you wanna play it, baby doll," he chuckles, sinking to his knees before you.   
Oh Jesus, you think. You weren't going to survive this.   
Breath coming out in short harsh gasps, you watch as he maneuvers the remnants of your pants and underwear down your legs, throwing them into a haphazard pile behind him. His hands travel up the inside of your legs, stroking lightly. His mouth nips at the sensitive flesh, kitten licks smoothing over the sharp sting.  
It leaves you a quaking, quivering mess.   
His hair tickles you as he moves up, his hands finally coming to rest on the inside of your thighs. He sucks marks onto your hip bones, moves up, dips his tongue into your belly button. It’s hot, his tongue, burning a path up your body. Raising your shirt to under your chin, he moans wantonly as your ample breasts are displayed to him. "Fuck, honey, ain't you jus' perfect?" His Brooklyn accent thickens the hornier he becomes. "I'm gonna mark ya, baby doll, I'm gonna claim you, body and soul." Sucking a rosy nipple into his mouth, he twirls his tongue around the bud, the hot weight of his body heavenly on yours.   
"I need you, Bucky. I need you inside me," you purr.   
His grip on your hip tightens, leaving finger indentations in the skin. "Tell me the truth, doll. Tell me you love me," his facade dropping, "I wanna hear you say it before I fuck you. I need ta hear you say it before I make you mine." He straightens up, metal finger finding your swollen clit. He rubs a small figure eight over and around the nub, pulling moan after moan from your lips. "This is for keeps, darlin'. I ain't gonna do this only once. If you say it you're mine, fuck everybody else," he snarls, eyes brimming with possession. He's losing the little grip he has on himself. He must find an answer in your eyes because he yanks his vest off, undoes his pants, pushing them to his ankles, exposing his long solid cock, already purple with his arousal, pre-come beading at the tip.   
It has you positively salivating.  
He pushes your knees open, exposing you fully to him, up and back so you’re spread out on the table like a feast waiting to be devoured. He moans at the sight. "So wet, good enough to eat," he murmurs as he licks a long stripe from your opening to your clit. When he flicks his tongue over the pleasure bundle, you moan freely. Tugging at his long locks, forcing his mouth harder onto you, he groans sending vibrations straight through you, making your body shake. But it's when he starts thrusting his tongue inside you that you really lose it. Back bowing with the pleasure of it, release impossibly close, Bucky eats you out with a skill you didn't know he possessed.   
"Right there! Oh fuck don't stop, James!"   
He pulls away once again, just as you were about to fall over the edge.   
You scream in frustration, trying fruitlessly to pull him back to your aching core.   
"Say it!" he roars, eyes flashing dangerously, demanding you give into him, to submit to him, to lay yourself bare before him.  
Whimpering, clawing at the table, desperate for release, for him, and mind foggy with lust, you scream, "Fuck! I love you! Jesus, I fucking love you!" The words have barely cleared your lips when he rams into you, sheathing himself with one thrust, pulling a porno worthy moan out of you.   
He's swearing above you, grunting, holding himself back in order not to hurt you, not to pound you into oblivion like you know he wants to. "Fuck, so wet, so tight, Jesus, I can't.." he rambles.   
"James, please!"   
He still doesn't move, fighting for a control he’s lost somewhere in the bliss of being inside your body.   
You wrap your legs around his waist, using all the strength you have to get him on his back. The new angle hits your g-spot just right. Bracing yourself on his chest, you move slowly up his rigid pole. You can feel every ridge, every vein with each pass.   
He lays unresisting beneath you, biting down hard on his bottom lip, eyes trained on where he's disappearing inside you. His hands on your hips pull you down roughly . He throws his head back, a low whimper leaving him as you speed up your hips, your climax fast approaching from being teased so long. "Oohh are you gonna come?" he moans, "Oh god, (Y/N). I can feel ya doin it around my cock." Fluttering walls clench his dick with every upward stroke. "That's it, baby, fuck yourself on me. Fuck yourself on my cock!" he practically begs, the cords in his neck straining.   
"James, harder, please! God! Stop holding back and fuck me already!"   
He growls, spreading his legs wider and planting his heels for traction. His thrusts are rough, sloppy, animalistic as he nears his own peak. "Who do you belong to, krasivaya?"   
Leaning back, placing your hands on his thighs, you meet his every thrust with one of your own. "You, James. You can have all of me, I belong to you," you moan, the pressure building impossibly higher, setting you clenching tightly around him.   
So close.. So close…  
He sits up, pulling you flush against him. One hand tangles in your hair, arching your head backward, the other grabs a handful of asscheek. "That's it, baby, right there," he hisses as he nips at your neck. "Come on, doll. I want you to come on my cock. Right now!" His pace increases, sending you hurtling over the edge with a scream, clenching strongly around him.   
Your vision goes white. There's a buzzing in your ears. You can distantly hear Bucky swearing beneath you, while he pumps into you like a man possessed.   
He scratches long, angry marks down your back as he loses himself in the pleasure your body is providing him. He cums a couple of thrusts later, hot, thick spurts painting your insides.   
It sends a shiver of pleasure down your spine, sparking the fire of arousal in you once again.   
There's a brief moment of silence while you both try and catch your breath, sweaty skin plastered together.   
He peers up at you, a cheeky grin tugging at the corners of his mouth. "I love you too, Krasivaya."


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

You stare down at him in disbelief, snorting at the preposterous notion. “You don't mean that, Buck,” you state firmly. 

The look of surprise that crosses his face cements your conclusion. 

“Then what the hell do you call what we just did?” he asks.

The pang of heartbreak filters through your chest. Your smile falters as you formulate the words. “You’ve been parading woman in and out of the compound for years, Buck. This isn't any different. You were merely relieved that you didn't lose a teammate.” You're on your back faster than you can blink. 

“You don’ know what your talking about, Krasivaya,” he murmurs, peppering your jaw with featherlight kisses. “I have loved you from the first minute I saw you,” fingers skim up your sides, “You don’ get to tell me how I feel, (Y/N), or what I feel for you,” he says as he stares you in the eye. “I want you to look,” he says seriously. 

The request catches you off guard. You had never ventured into your teammates minds, the act feeling foul and tainted every time you thought of it. You stare at him questioningly. 

Bucky was fiercely protective of his thoughts, sharing nothing of the innermost working of his mind, not even with Steve. 

“Bucky..I don't..” 

He places a long slender finger on your lips. “I want you to. I can't manipulate memory, or what I feel the way you can. So, whatever you find you’ll have ta believe, righ’?” 

The hope in his voice has you caving. You nod once and gently brush the hair that's hanging in his face behind his ears. Placing one finger on each side of his head, you take a deep breath and push past his defenses.

The rush of emotions has you gasping, memory after memory flying across your inner eye. You reading a book in a corner smiling softly at something on the page. You laughing with Steve and Natasha during the annual snowball fight. You with your arms wrapped around Bucky after a bad nightmare. Every memory is accompanied with a rush of love so strong it has tears forming in your eyes. 

You pull away from him to find him watching you closely, a look of pure adoration on his face.

He smiles beatifically, “It’s always been you. Only you.”

“You never told me, Buck. You didn't say a word.” 

He snorts out a laugh, eyeing you seriously. “What was I supposed to say, doll? Was I supposed to come right out and say it? As broken and fucked up as I was? I couldn't do that, not ta ya. You’re pure, special, I couldn't taint ya,” he states matter of factly. 

You're in total shock, his confession simultaneously angering you and catching you unawares. “Yeah, Buck, that's exactly what you were supposed to do!” you half yell at him. “Jesus! I've been in love with you for years! Watching you parade woman after woman in front of me, knowing you could never see me as anything more than a friend!” Tears are leaking from the corner of your eyes. “So much time wasted, so many hurt feelings, I can’t...” Chest heaving, you try and shove him off you, accomplishing nothing in your effort to dislodge him. “Why now?” you ask, refusing to look him in the eye. 

“I watched you die. For me,” is his simple answer. “You died without knowing how much I love you, how much you mean to those around you. How beautiful, how smart you are.” He pins your struggling arms above your head, cutting off your attempts to escape him. “How I wouldn't be able to function with you gone. How there would be no color left in my life.” He gently touches his lips to yours. “I know I ain't the best at expressing myself doll, I’ve never really had ta talk, ya know? I know I fucked up. Badly. But I wanna make it up ta ya. I wanna show ya how loved you are, how…..” he stops mid sentence looking for the right words, “I want ya ta know... you’re enough.” 

The words sending a fresh wave of tears down your face. Hiccuping pitifully as the words you’ve been waiting to hear for so long from another person are finally said. 

“I want ya ta know that you’ve always been enough. For me, for the team, and if ya will let me, doll, I’ll spend the rest of my life showing you exactly how much I love ya, want ya, and need ya. Please let me try?” He’s pleading with you, you know he is. The tough and mean winter soldier is pleading with you to give him a chance. The man you love seems to return the feelings you have for him.

You let a tentative smile form on your lips, eyes sparkling like jewels in the dim light. You nod once. 

Bucky grins wolfishly as he captures your lips in a joyful, passionate kiss. “Bout damn time, thought I was gonna have ta wait for you forever!”


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky Barnes have been friends for years. You are deeply, completely, in love with the super soldier, but he sees you as nothing more than a little sister. What happens when Bucky starts to date in earnest?

“We gotta get moving, doll,” he whispers into your hair.

You groan, not willing to move out of this dank warehouse. 

“The teams ETA is five minutes, we got explainin’ to do,” he says more forcefully, the nerves bleeding into his voice. 

Oh shit, you think. With one thing and another you haven't gotten around to telling Bucky about your arrangement with Steve. You stifle a giggle, choosing not to tell him and give him a hearty dose of tough love. After all, he had put you through hell. 

Putting on your best “I'm a fragile flower protect me” face, you turn toward him, eyes downcast, bottom lip caught between your teeth. “How will I tell Stevie?” you whisper.

His face goes blank, several emotions passing over his features, guilt being prevalent. “Fuck. I dunno, I’ll handle it,” he sighs, grabbing you by the waist and depositing you on his lap. His appreciative gaze roams up your body, “How did I get this lucky?” he asks. 

You blush under his heated gaze, trying to hide behind your hair. “Shut up,” you mumble.

He chuckles. “I’m serious, doll. You’re beautiful, inside and out. I ain't never met anyone like you.” He presses an affectionate kiss to your lips. “I jus’ hope Steve understands. I never meant to hurt him,” he mutters almost to himself. 

You contemplate telling him, putting him out of his misery, but the stomping of boots puts a stop to it. You don't even have time to get off of Bucky’ lap before Steve, in full Captain America gear, strides in looking intimidating as hell. Dirt and blood coat his suit, the mask torn in a few places. His eyes flash as he takes in the scene before him, Natasha coming to a halt behind him, a smirk plastered firmly on her face. 

“Did I miss somethin?” Steve barks out, voice cold as ice. “Is there a reason my girl is on your lap, Barnes?” His eyes drag over your form. “Pantless,” he growls.

Bucky pales, eyes nearly bulging out of his head as he tries to form a response. He picks you up, making sure your shirt covers you adequately, and places you gently beside him. Standing up, he strides toward his friend. “Steve, I’m sorry. I didn't want it ta happen like this,” he begins, hands clenching at his sides, sweat beading his brow. “I never wanted ta hurt ya, but I...I love her.” 

Steve’s lips twitch minutely, barely containing his laughter when he glances your way. “So, what? Ya thought the best way ta go about it was to steal my girl? Bucky Barnes always gets the girl, right?” he spits out. 

You know there's no real venom behind it, no bite to his bark but damn! Cap’s pulling out the big guns and showing some mad acting skills. It’s rather impressive. Perhaps all that time he spent dancing on stage prior to the Howling Commando’s hadn’t been a total waste after all. 

“Steve, no! I didn't steal her. It sorta... just... happened,” he says lamely. 

You snort. “As I recall, babe, you didn't give me much choice in the matter. You went all dom on my ass.” 

Steve's eyes snaps to yours and back to Bucky's. He grabs him by the lapels of the shirt, shaking him like a rag doll. “You put hands on her without her consent?” Steve walks him backward to the table you are sitting on, forcing him onto his back. “Did he touch you without permission? He put hands on you when you didn’t want him to?” 

You bat your eyelashes, pouting slightly, the betrayal that flashes across Bucky’s face, has you feeling awfully guilty. “Well, Stevie, he was awful convincing. It’s those lips. They just... make a girl feel... things,” you coo softly, blinking innocently up at Steve who’s barely holding his shit together.

“What the fuck are you doing, (Y/N)?” Bucky hisses, his anger at your apparent betrayal boiling to the surface. 

“Telling the truth, Buck. Wasn't I supposed to?” you ask innocently, widening your eyes for effect.

Steve snorts once, then a rumbling laugh forces its way past his lips. Soons he’s a shaking mess, howling with laughter. 

You can’t help but follow, erupting into peals of giggles as Bucky looks lost. 

“What’s happening?” he yells, head swiveling between you and Steve.

You can do nothing more than laugh harder, which seems to infuriate him more. 

“If ya don’ tell me what the fuck is going on, babygirl, I'm gonna put you over my knee,” he sighs exasperated. 

“Promises, promises, Barnes,” you sing.

“Your… face,” Steve chokes out, his large frame doubled over as he gasps for breath.

Even Natasha cracks a smile. 

“Oh honey, Steve and I were never together, the big lump got it into his brain to pretend to be my boyfriend. He thought it would make you jealous.” 

Bucky growls, rolling out from under Steve when he finally steps back. “It fuckin worked, I nearly burst a vein every time he touched you,” he says as he clutches your waist possessively. 

“Alright tiger, calm your shit.” Rolling your eyes, you avert your attention to the gasping blond “Stevie, babe, you gotta breathe. Nat, help the man.” 

She smiles wickedly, sidling up behind Steve, laying a stinging slap to his behind. 

His laughter stops abruptly, his face going beet red. 

You snigger vindictively while Bucky guffaws loudly in front of you. Smiling up at him, his eyes bright, you can’t help but press up on your toes, throw your arms around his neck, and kiss him for all your worth.

Steve levels Natasha with a playful glare. 

“There’ll be no living with them after this,” Natasha remarks. 

Steve nodding absently. “You think she’ll be okay? Ya know, with herself?” 

Nat smiles a knowing smile. “I doubt he’ll ever let her forget just how amazing she is.” Her smile turns sinister. “If he does, I'll shave his hair off in his sleep.” 

Steve sobers instantly. An angry Natasha was a scary Natasha.

“Alright you two, disengage yourselves. No one wants to see you sucking face,” Natasha quips, breaking the two of you apart. “And I don't know about you guys, but I could murder a waffle.”

Receiving general assent in the form of vigorous nodding and lip smacking, she rolls her eyes, grabbing Steve’s hand. “Come on then gang, let’s get the hell out of this joint.” 

You smile softly to yourself, worry and stress seeping out of you. You had your love, your friends, and, with a bit of work and effort, you could have you too.

Everything was going to be just fine. With Bucky at your side, you knew no matter what happened in the future you would always be... enough.


End file.
